Hi there,
It’s been a minute. I’ve been vagabonding. First things first, I’d like to thank David for your long-time support. I have this “Buy me a coffee” feature on my blog for anyone who’d feel compelled to buy me a cup of coffee in exchange for wisdom, adventure, and endless exploration. If you want to buy me a cup of coffee, it is $3 bucks. And thank you for reading. You are my type of person. I’d like to think that we rock. We do.
In February, I did a silent meditation retreat for a week. It is on site, so the environment is controlled. We took the vow of noble silence: no speaking, no reading, no writing and no eye contact. We also had the choice to surrender our mobile phones. If I’d accomplish nothing in 2024, I could say, I had a good week without my phone and the internet.
I am still digesting the revelations I had during retreat. It was a good time for me to stop and rest.
The new year started with a boatload of excitement. It feels good to sit with the excitement and take it in. Kind. Gentle. Simple. That’s how I’d like to be. Few activities remind me of that. Writing is one of them. Meditation and walking makes up the rest of the list. Why do I do these things? For one, I love doing them. For two, I don’t want to be a puppet to my emotions, to my thoughts and to what’s happening around me. I want to be truly free. The price is high and it is called My Life.
I am changing how I relate to my creativity. Like all human situations, it is complex and shifting. I know what I want and what I need to change. Gun to my head, what are some things that I would do for the rest of my life? I would create, learn, travel and spend time with people I love. Health and money are the foundation to live that life I want. In a perfect world, my art would support my living expenses. Right now, it doesn’t. It will one day. I am working towards that. I need not to rush and I need not to stop.
I ventured to Lousianna with a friend two weeks ago. I don’t know what to make out of my experience yet. I need to come back to it. I got introduced to a new artist while I was there: Stephen Dee Edwards. His work evokes raw desire in my body. I feel warm, needed and intrigued. The details are mesmerizing. I fought with my friend on Day 4 of the trip and we made up within the same day. The rupture and repair dance is real. I think about that a lot. Whom in our life do we feel safe enough to fight with knowing that we would give each other a chance for repair?
I have been in and out of New York City. I met one person who’s vagabonding too. She was touring with a band last year. Soon, she will be going to Asia with the band again for a music award. Life can sometimes be what we make it to be. She & I became fast friends. I will be renting her apartment while she’s out in Asia.
I am happy to be living the life I wanted since I was nineteen. The challenges of being on the road are well worth the trouble. I don’t want to stop. Is there anything that’s good for you that you don’t want to stop in the near future?
Talk soon my friends. Take good care.
Love,
Xiaoyu
