Hi friends,
Letter time! Or love story time! What’s on your mind lately? Tell me.
I am bringing Hannah’s reality closer to ours – Covid is coming upon her and her friends. I am curious to see the story evolves. Our Hannah will be teaching virtual classes on Zoom.
I hope you enjoy the love note from this week!
X.Y.Zheng
Letter No. 24
J,
Your sister called today. I was in the grocery store picking up apples when she first called. She called again shortly after I got back. Her voice was urgent and serious. She asked me to prepare for a virus: buying rubber alcohol, a specific kind of face mask, surgical gloves, food, toilet paper… A running list that sounds like the end is near. Let’s hope I am exaggerating here. Your sister had only used that voice once – when she phoned me about your death. I feel cold.
I googled the virus. They named it Corona. It is spreading across China and seems deadly. We don’t know much about it. I want to call Rachel right away and see how she is doing in Japan. I am texting her and Craig. I need to go back to the grocery store and get the list of things.
I will only tell you this: I love your sister. She is so different from you and she is the only living person that connects me to you. When she smiles, her mouth will transform into the shape of yours; and all I want to do is to hold her face. But we both know that is not happening!
On my walk this morning, I thought more about my project. I have an idea of why I am doing it. It wasn’t clear to me before and it is giving me a new direction of how to organize the pieces. For as long as I can remember, music, sound and touch have played a big part of my art. Since your death, I muted everything. I can’t bear music. I refused to accept my reality. I stopped dancing. I stopped singing. I stopped eating. I stopped creating. I stopped. My world was silent and dead. I chose silence and I wanted to be in it with you. Through the slowest passage of time, the silence fed me and gave me life again. I am trying to say “thank you” with this project and I am trying to share the aliveness from the deep end of silence.
You were there with me. You were present. You are present. I am writing to keep you here with me. Stay. Stay as long as you want. I will be here.
All my love,
Hannah
