What goes into your head when you think of giving up? I think of stagnation, death and misery. I think of becoming homeless. I think of suicide. I think of concerned loved ones. I think of a bleak and doomed future. In short monkey terms, my brain believes: giving up, bad. I have the deep… Read More »
How has technology shaped my life? – I no longer need a watch or TV, yet I spend so much time in front of a screen. What kind of progress have I made in the past 10 years? – I like myself now. How am I different compared with pre-Covid? – I enjoy cooking more.… Read More »
Err, err, err, so I can learn, learn and learn some more. Mistakes I have made: Assume people act rationally. Assume I act rationally. No. No. No. Logic through emotions. Lie to myself. Trust untrustworthy people. Give untrustworthy people second chances. Attempt to convince others. Attempt to change others. Hold onto relationships that have run… Read More »
My company recently laid off 150+ employees. It is business. Nothing personal. Cheaper labor and lower taxes overseas. My head gets how capitalism works. My heart hurts. I am hurting. Fear and anxiety are flooding over my nervous system. I am retreating from life. My brain attacks my reactive coping mechanism by telling me I… Read More »
I tried a writing workshop online with the New York Public Library. Why didn’t I try it sooner? For reasons I can illustrate. I was worried about others critiquing my work. I was worried that I would hear my own doubt coming out of someone else’s month. I was worried my writing was not good… Read More »
Oh, I have a crush on a stranger. I start forgetting to eat. I move from one zone to another without total awareness. I brush my teeth multiple times. I talk about nothing to my friends and family in circles. (Bless them.) They are complete rambles of my anxiety. My chest is tight and my… Read More »
Dear readers, I hope wherever you are, you can grant yourself a moment of peace. Take a deep breath in, hold it for 4 seconds and let it all out. Repeat for a dozen times. I am in an interesting space where I don’t feel real. I am here and not here. My body is… Read More »