Author Archives: Xiaoyu Zheng

Inching Forward

By | March 29, 2023

Hi friends, Is there anything you regret not doing due to fear? Spring is weeks away. My insides swirl a bowl of feelings and thoughts. I want to invite the helpful part out. Every episode (meltdown) shows the infinite reality of being. I am humbled by new encounters with Despair – how imperfect it is.… Read More »

Starting from Square One

By | March 3, 2023

Hi my friends, Good news first. I managed to take a walk outside today. Seeing the trees budding, the birds circling the pink sky, I felt a sense of aliveness – stark contrast to what I have been feeling. Getting outside helps. Second good news. In talking with my therapist, I felt a glimpse of… Read More »

Your Neighbor Who Also Struggles

By | February 20, 2023

Hello friend, How’s your head doing? I am learning to start again. Sitting in the same chair, typing on the same keyboard, I feel unfamiliar with the person that inhabits my body. My old tricks to cheer her up fall flat. I feel as if I don’t have authority over this living being. Maybe I… Read More »

Tough Season

By | December 2, 2022

Hi friends, Long time no “see”. I hope you are doing well. I hope you are feeling a sense of safety, wellness and love. I am not doing so well, with no surprise to mental health professionals. And I am trying. I am finding my way to live with a collection of complex post traumatic… Read More »

Bye! Limiting Beliefs

By | October 24, 2022

Hello my friends, Hi from your mental health advocate. What are some behavior changes you are implementing to best care for yourself? My unusually high level of anxiety has led me to cut out caffeine, processed sugar and alcohol. I am doing the right things. My anxiety is still sky high. The lesson I am… Read More »

Shame, Shame, Shame

By | October 13, 2022

I am deeply ashamed. Ashamed of being me. Never good enough. Often scared and anxious. Always grappling with the meaning of existence. What am I to do with this heartbeat? How do I join the ocean and find a sense of belonging? What can I do to stop the pain? In my head, there is… Read More »

Begin Again

By | October 10, 2022

To be or not to be continues to shapeshift into a new puzzle. It is not smart to ponder such a question in the depth of depression and anxiety. Alas, I have no place to run but face this utterly human question. Writing might be helpful. The pandemic has made the past present; reality sharp… Read More »