Hi friends,
How’s your week so far? Any intense feelings this week? I got my own Netflix account right after I published the previous post. And I stopped watching Sex & City because it became boring. Romance is boring, when that’s all you have. It is an effective distraction. Easy dopamine hit, which often leaves me feeling dissatisfied and foolish. A good fit is what I am after. I will know when I know – that’s what my friends tell me.
What’s more exciting is that my creative gears are engaged and working this Spring. I am writing songs, painting, and writing. I am having deeper and more mind bending conversations with my great friends about sex, money and death. I feel more alive and vibrant than ever. I think what’s helping me is that I am more open and honest about what type of relationships I am engaging in my life. I want to feel nourished by my relationships and I want to nourish my friends. I am cocreating a community that’s fueled by creativity, humor, curiosity and kindness. I am getting comfortable holding space for others because I have learned how to hold space for myself.
I am not trying to boast about myself. I want to act as a walking evidence for you. Sometimes, we spend a lot of time in the darkness, working on ourselves, for years, without seeing any progress. Because the inner work is difficult and takes a long time to manifest fruitful harvests. But when you are on the other side of the inferno, you have joy and peace inside that no one and no thing will be able to take away from you. When you on you becomes enjoyable, it is easy to spot relationships and things that add to your fire. All I am saying is, keep going. You know the right things to do for yourself. The answers are not ever conveniently packaged in any purchases outside of you.
This week, my boss called me talented and the most joyful person to be around. An old friend reached out from a mental hospital. I finished a song. Depression creeped in for a few days because of what’s going on in the world. Darkness and bright white joy are possible at the same time. That’s the deal we signed up for. We are here for adventures. I am getting in with the program. Take care of yourself and take care of your small community. We need each other and thank God we have each other.
Be good.
Xo,
Xiaoyu
