Dear Readers,
How are you?
It is back to school season. With California burning and the pandemic renewed for another season, life goes on. I think about the firefighters, the doctors, the nurses, the farmers, the teachers, people who are gluing our lives together. Thank you.
I chatted with my mailwoman the other day. My place was her last stop of the day. I asked her an innocent question about postage. She didn’t know the answer and called her boss, then a station. She found the answers for me. “Are you a doctor?” She asked. I am not. She went on telling me about her mom’s doctor and the heart surgery. It was a successful surgery and her mom passed away last year. My mailwoman’s name is Shannon.
With Shannon’s help, I sticked the correct postage on letters. Now, they are off. I feel calm, picturing friends opening the letters and seeing me freeze in that moment, scribbling away.
I can smell the seasons changing. Fall is coming.
Reading:
At a slow and enjoyable pace, I am reading short stories. Some words burned a hole in me.
“She surprised me: unzipped my fly, brought me to climax, and then licked the mess off.”
“She swore by yoga but I’d been telling her if she wanted total defense against death she would have to come with me to the gym. Squat, dead lift, kettlebells.”
“Upset. Keep seeming upset. Be publicly upset with everything and keep praising God.”
In The Juggler’s Wife by Emily Hunt Kivel:
“That a flood violent and poetic capriciousness would enter the man’s soul and shake him, blow rubble and shit all over everything they’d done.”
“The house was quiet, empty: a lovely ship in a still harbor. When the juggler returned home, he would wrap his body around her, breathe deeply into her neck, smell her hair, make a seat for her body in his lap. He would always open the window, the air cooling his skin, which was damp with some wooden and medieval scent. Wind would fill her ears.”
‘I meant that if you love it, why don’t you relax and let that be enough? Why can’t you just have fun with it?’
“He tore at his hair. ‘You can’t have fun with the things you love!'"
Playing:
I am playing with visual compositions. Here are a few. If you like what you see and want more, try Instagram.
wild horse
fool
touch and go
1st view of fall
slide to open
drop
solid and fluid
I am inspired by music lately. Beat starts to translate into images.
Learning to pace myself is quite an interesting game.
Learning and Observations:
I am learning about female hormones. Clue is a helpful resource.
Plans are like maps, at best a helpful guide. Real actions provide feedback that no amount of planning ever will.
There are no shortcuts. The answers will be revealed when I am ready.
I have no recurring thoughts of late. My mind and I are not at war. Bliss. I dare to call it bliss.
Hope to see you next month.
Love,
Xiaoyu
P.S. my initials are "xyz"
