Oh, I have a crush on a stranger. I start forgetting to eat. I move from one zone to another without total awareness. I brush my teeth multiple times. I talk about nothing to my friends and family in circles. (Bless them.) They are complete rambles of my anxiety. My chest is tight and my neck burning. Reality is far from me and I talk to myself loud and then quiet and then loud again. I pace.
Do you have the same problem? Or am I the only weirdo who does this? It is a complete stranger that I happen to have ONE fluid conversation with. Please send help instead of judgement.
I blame my wonderful, vivid imagination. On less anxious days, it is the best gift I have got; on days where I have a can of shaken up Coca Cola bursting inside, less so.
I hear you. I am overthinking. I told myself that. It didn’t stop my head from churning. I couldn’t play any instruments with my shaky hands. I tried some soothing abstract painting. My God. My head is loud. I ate some food and drank some water. I meditated. Maybe more meditation. I keep losing the count of my breaths. Was I on 36?
When all things fail, I turn to this page. A deep breath. It is all okay. At the end of the day, I will waltz with my imagination until reality wedges in. A crush will go, just like a cold. Oh, this time, his name is Joe.
