Hi friends,
I am writing to you after a glorious nap. Half of my brain is buzzing with joy. My body is flooded with happiness. Nap makes me a better human. And I can’t even say it is because of the winter. Ever since I discovered that Einstein naps often, I’ve given up my nagging guilt. The fast paced and achievement oriented modern day life wants us to go go go. If you need a permission slip to nap, I am passing them out for free.
My nails are bugging me as I am trying. I will be right back after I trim them.
Okay. Nails are piano ready.
What’s on your mind today? For me, terra incognita. The creative workshop I am in is wrapping up. I was anticipating a cocktail of fear, anxiety and grief. Right this moment, I feel tranquil and certain about what I am doing – writing. The workshop has confirmed my suspicion about the larger creative force that I know exists – I experience it daily. People give IT different names. For me, it is Love. Everything I do and Everything I create, stem from a place of Love. Cheesy as it may, this is my creative lot and I feel fortunate and thankful that it is.
The workshop forces me to think about where I will take my creative practice. I am slowly moving towards clarity. I know that I want to write to wake up the love and tenderness in my readers’ hearts. I want my writing to be a medicine for the soul. I want it to help all of us remember what we are and what is most important. I want to write to my best ability and I want to improve every single day.
I was a competitive kid. I wanted to be #1 in everything I participated in. Then some trauma and pain changed how I define a successful human. I realized that there are so many possible ways to build a beautiful life that will not drive myself to the brink of breaking. The competitive energy transformed into a compassionate and loving presence. I am happy, from head to toe, really happy. It took years of work. But work and preparation never scared me. I am trying to say that I will continue writing.
Learning and creating guides how I plan my life – my year, my month, my week and my day. Covid has simplified my planning. One day at a time has become my planning philosophy. Not to say that any future planning isn’t helpful. But the wisdom and aliveness of being is almost always right within this moment. And this one. Learning to befriend reality has made me stronger and healthier. How did I do it? I stopped lying to myself. I work on accepting what’s in my control and what’s not. I then devote all of my energy to what I can control. Everything starts with being honest with myself. It is also the most difficult step. I hope you let yourself step into it because you are worth your own honest appraisal. What are some painfully recurring patterns and events in your life? How did you play a part of that song and dance? I recommend therapy.
A lot for you to think about on a Sunday. Take it slow my friends. Haste makes terrible waste. Let’s trust that doing the next right thing and the next will help all of us navigate the terra incognita. My next right thing is a glass of water.
I hope you enjoy diving into the deep sea with me one post at a time.
I send you love.
X. Y. Zheng
