I am asking people out. So, dates. This one stood out. He is peculiar. And he is into how weird I am.
On our first date, I wore a burgundy sweater dress that contoured my body. My butt looks great in the dress and it is comfortable. I paired the look with my blue laced earrings and a red lip. The earrings and the lip highlighted my cheeks – a safe first date look. I liked how straightforward this guy was. He was clear about what he wanted. And I like clarity.
It was an early fall night. We went for ice cream. Something we both love.
He showed up in a grey t-shirt and Express jeans with his underwear line peaking. He looked nothing like his photos. “Sorry, my hair is long.” First line. “Mine is short.” I smiled. We each ordered and I suggested sitting outside. We were both nervous. Any breeze would help.
The weather was warmer than I expected. I regretted wearing a sweater dress. He talked fast, so fast that I felt suffocated by the weight of his speech. The heat building up in my body didn’t help either. He inhaled the ice-cream and kept on talking. Something about a recent trip to Vegas; his gay best friend; a 7-course meal in the dark; something about fixing the car and a general description of what he does. He waited for me to finish my ice-cream. I asked him to give me some room to breathe. He slowed down and let some air into the conversation. Thank God. My shoulders rolled down. A nice breeze came in timely.
He suggested that we go to a board game place nearby as I was finishing up with my ice-cream. I agreed.
After some fussing around with picking a game, we landed on ‘Quarto’ – a thinking game. He did a good job of explaining the rules. He let me win in the practice rounds. He found playful moments during the game to hold my hands. He stopped me from making “bad” moves. He lightly joked about how bad I was at the game when we talked about chess and books later.
Board game was a great choice. We both had a good time. The conversation returned to a pace my body enjoys. He stopped filling the air time. I talked more. He shared simple facts. I tried his clarity on. The initial awkwardness slowly evaporated. I asked questions. He answered. He lost someone dear recently. He didn’t want to talk about it in depth and I respected his boundaries.
We went on a couple more dates. He is tall. I am reminded of that every time we try to hug. My face barely reaches his chest. Through random conversations, bits and pieces of important values are revealed. No major red flags for either party.
He uses “Let’s” often. Let’s stop at the bakery for some sweet treats. Let’s go find the glasses. He does stuff, in his own words. And I prefer taking it slow, sitting down, thinking and processing. He enjoys running and riding his bike. He has a timetable. By 2pm, he needs to get to his dad’s place. By noon Tuesday, he needs to get on an airplane. He works night shifts. We share a fairly similar circadian rhythm.
He knows stuff that I don’t. And he is equally random, which makes conversing easy and interesting. He understands ADHD. And he listens. He is concerned about the potential structural hazard of my building. Did I mention that he talks fast? My brain hurts from time to time. And I stop listening. He complains about my not listening, jokingly.
He doesn’t drink coffee or caffeinated tea. No meat. No kombucha. Yes to pizza, cakes and ice-cream. He is still friends with people he grew up with. He has never dated anyone Dutch. He recommended a couple new restaurants for me to try. He likes the fact that Apple has my earrings as an option in memoji. He refuses to tell me his birthday. He doesn’t listen to any music while he runs or bikes. And he drives in silence. Silence, my friend. He doesn’t like talking on the phone. He is curious and can be goofy.
The story is slowly developing with enough breathing room. I am not crazy in love and don’t want to be. I want no hostages in this story, out of love, fear and maturity. Ongoing, life is ongoing.
