Hi friends,
Is there anything you regret not doing due to fear?
Spring is weeks away. My insides swirl a bowl of feelings and thoughts. I want to invite the helpful part out. Every episode (meltdown) shows the infinite reality of being. I am humbled by new encounters with Despair – how imperfect it is. I need to remember Hope and Help is close, closer than I could see, when I let myself reach out.
I still think about death often. I am okay with it. The morbid details of my mind aside, I see the world dishing out abundant small miracles of kindness, beauty and joy. I am grateful.
For this Spring, I am focusing on verbs – increasing verbs per page in my writing. I want to be careful with using adverbs and the passive tone.
I am reading again. Reading takes stamina. I’ve got stamina to read now. Months ago, I thought everything was dried up. Even subtle curiosity was out of reach.
Here are some specific advice given to me:
1. You are not your feelings. Your feelings are telling you something about yourself as you are at this particular moment, not necessarily more than that. Don’t pay too much attention to your emotions.
2. Avoid putting things off until you are in the right mood. You are happiest when you are working.
3. A wholesome self-discipline benefits you. Sleep and work regular hours. Exercise, too.
4. Live your life, stay in contact with the real world, instead of spending too much time in your imagination.
Work, I can respect. Don’t hurry and don’t stop.
Sending small miracles of Hope your way,
Xiaoyu
