Where does one “I” begin? How did “I” land here, in this body with this specific set of eyeballs? Can “I” renounce and embrace the history of my ancestors with sovereignty? How does one “I” find a connected “Us” when the “Us” was broken and is breaking? Where are the ancestors’ wisdom and strength when “I” need them? How much loss and gain have accumulated over the leakage of time? Where can one “I” begin? Will “I” ever see the ending of a connected “Us”?
The dead and the alive “I”s have been marked by life. Some abused. Some rich. Some shot. Some loved. Some sick. Some happy. Some rejected. Some hopeful. Some sad. Some held. Each “I” is singing an unique combination of notes. This orchestra plays on and on. Every “I” is convinced of a divine potential, all the while looking around and believing, if “I” have more wealth, more prestige, more power, more knowledge, then…Then the “Us”, the love, the belonging, the understanding and the connection will begin. “I” want an ending without wanting. The tale doesn’t end despite billions of attempted beginnings. Perhaps, the messiah is coming. Wait still.
Underneath the “I” and the “Us”, scars are vibrating. The one “I” efforts in concealing the universal codes of true connection. Some scars are still open, tender and quietly growing into a big surprise for later. Some scars have healed and left a smooth, clean surface. Some scars demanded the utmost attention sincerely and urgently. Some scars become tales shared and not shared.
The “I” begins with one “Us” and ends with another “I” and another “Us”. The “I” cannot relax into the certain arrival of a beginning. The “I” dare not trust the answers I give myself. The “I” cries out for validation and love. Me. This twisted, conflicted, tormented, lost and confused “I”, will you love and accept? Will “I” believe you when you speak of love? Will “I” be enough for me?
The “I” walks a pah of reconciliation. The “I” is here, connecting us, from the beginning.
