Dear readers,
Happy New Year!
What’s good in your life right now? I am looking at the lit candle and letting myself daydream for a little.
We have officially said goodbye to 2020! We have made through an incredible challenging year. It is time to collect lessons learned and start imaging and creating a path forward. I want to give myself the permission to start fresh and leave negative thought patterns behind. The story we tell ourselves determines the quality of our life. The brain is listening to everything. When we are mindful about the tone and the narrative, the story we tell ourselves can help us move through life with more joy, courage and gratitude. I want to have an inner voice I am proud of that I can share and help motivate others. I wish 2021 brings infinite magic, kindness and loving connections into everyone’s life.
I have not been productive for the past two weeks. I am slowly nursing myself back to health. I am doing my best. On some days, it means I manage to brush my teeth and wash my face. That’s quite something and a job well done. I am making slow progress. I am proud to report that I have a clean kitchen for the new year. Dishes have been done and trash thrown out. Looking at my clean kitchen, I trust that I am capable of taking care of myself and my life. My sleep schedule needs adjustments. I am writing at 4am in the morning. Do you have tips? Leave a comment if you do.
I find it incredibly crucial to speak to myself with kindness and compassion when I am struggling. Deep down, we know what we need to do. The challenge lies in mobilizing ourselves to do the thing. I find a gentle and encouraging nudge more motivating than the voice of a drill sergeant. Let’s be honest, 2020 has not been kind or gentle, so I suggest we give ourselves more kindness in the new year.
There is much talk about kindness in the media I consume. For me, kindness means utter respect for life. Out of that respect, the possibility of compassion and empathy flows out. Some of us are naturally kind. Some of us need to put more effort into adopting a different perspective. Individualism doesn’t mean we don’t need other people. Individualism doesn’t mean we magnify our differences and ignore the fact that we belong to the same human race. Culture might have us believe otherwise, but science tells us that 88% to 90% of our DNA is the same across population and race. We are more similar than we are different. 2020 has hopefully taught us that. Many of us are adjusting priorities to focus on meaningful connections with friends, family and their community going forward.
2020 has demonstrated how deeply connected we are on a global scale. No one can survive all by themselves. Someone built the house you live in. Someone delivered your Amazon packages. Someone planted and harvested the broccoli you are eating now. We depend on each other. We have the same needs for physical survival and social connection. That’s why some music, movies and stories move us. We get to experience what’s like to be someone else and seeing the reflections of ourselves in them. That’s a connection. Your heart aches for the loss of a loved one. My heart aches for the loss of a loved one too. We may deal with the loss in different ways, but the heartache, the pain – that is a shared human experience with no exemption. And everyone seeks love and belonging on some level. Often times, we don’t see what someone else is going through, unless they tell us. That makes kindness so beautifully important. More kindness please, to others and to ourselves.
Now, a fresh new year filled with possibilities and opportunities to grow. In 2021, what would you like to change?
This year, I am focusing on projects with a flexible plan that doesn’t sacrifice my health. I need to be careful with how much pressure I put on myself. Too much, I break and burn out. Too little, I fall into a depressive and self loathing state. I love creating but the most important goal for me is to be a functioning and healthy person. Having specific definitions of what I am trying to do, a deadline, the right motivation and a small enough daily goal mobilizes me. But of course, when life happens, we adjust and go with life.
My intention for 2021 is to focus on my mental and physical health. For me, that looks like proactively taking care of my body and my immediate environment. Make my bed. Drink 8 glasses of water. Eat enough veggies and fruits. Stay away from caffeine. Move my body and stretch. Do dishes. Turn off screens after dinner. And I want to have more energy. If you have tips to share, please leave a comment.
Creativity wise, I am going through a dry spell. Starting a new piece of writing (story and poems) feels forced right now. I have decided to rest by allowing myself to write the worst junk in the world. I won’t share the junk writing with you, of course not. But, weekly post will not stop, I will organize internalized writing tips and practical how-tos to take care of the mind. If you enjoy self-help focused dry martini with no fictional or literary flare, come take something helpful for yourself and share with a friend.
I will end the letter with one joy item, a peanut butter banana chocolate chip cookie recipe (that’s a mouthful!). I used all purpose flour instead. The freshly baked cookies turn out to be a yummy chocolate chip pancake that you can eat without a fork.
I miss my family dearly. I am grateful that everyone is safe and healthy. I pray for opportunities to spend time with them in person soon. Take good care. Cheers to a healthy and joy filled new year!
P.S. I turn 30 this year. A meaningful birthday gift for myself is this blog. Thank you for joining me on this journey. I will remember to play and imagine. I look forward to evolving and building meaningful connections with you.
Until next time,
Xiaoyu
