Hello hello hello,
Did you manage to get outside this week? I finally went out today after being sick with Covid for nine days. It’s the first time I got Covid. On the menu for me were: diarrhea, fever, muscle ache, sore throat (more like having thin slices of blades in my throat). My mom and dad were sick too. The whole household was on halt. We took turn look after each other. We reminded each other to take meds – many meds. My mom was the first to feel better, followed by me. My dad is still suffering.
I felt like I was dying. The virus is scarily strong. Swallow hurts more than anything. My neck, shoulders, and my elbows were hurting in ways that I’ve never experienced before. It felt like I’ve just fought a bear. This morning, I am feeling better so I volunteered for cooking. I made beef mushroom porridge. It is great for the sick and tired body. For dinner, my mom and I went to have Ma La Tang – a ready-to-eat hot pot. It is a stew/soup like dish cooked in chicken broth with veggies and meat of your choosing. It is so yummy! I love food. I also love being able to swallow without pain.
What I love most is being at home with my parents. We haven’t lived together for more than 15 years. My parents are fun and interesting people. We laugh a lot together. I love being able to go grocery shopping, having dinner, cooking and doing dishes together. I can’t imagine my life without them. I hope my parents have long and healthy lives. I want my parents to live for ever in perfect good health. Is that too much to ask?
My mom is the center of the household. She keeps us moving along. She is also the joy center. She buys all sorts of toys and gadgets for the house – to make our life easier and more enjoyable. My dad is more anxious than I am- that’s too much anxiety for one person. He is also the smartest in the household. And the kindest. In my home, you will find my mom talking to friends on the phone. My dad watching WWII documentaries. Me – what do I do? I talk to myself.
So, I think it is for the greater good of humanity that my mom and my dad live long and healthy lives. I don’t want to grow up – not in the sense of not taking responsibilities, it’s in the sense of not wanting to lose the people I love the most. They make up my world. Every single one of us have to navigate this tender terrain of life – losing people we love. No one has taught us how. I am asking for your sage advice. How? How do one navigate this tender terrain? Don’t tell me to let go.
I already know that each embrace might be the last. I already hug for a long and awkward time. I don’t live an efficient life. I know. I chose so. I want to be a nice comfy home for the people I love. Here, here is another reason why I write. The people I love are so great, you need to know them.
I need a tissue now. Let’s pray for health and safety and peace on earth – together.
Hugs,
Xiaoyu
