The process of pairing down reveals the truth about who I am and who I aspired to be. The philosophy books, the self help books, the business books… I am saying goodbye to them all.The books I decide to carry with me are books of poetry and my journals. So many journals. I have not had the internal space to go through my journals for the past 10 years. I hope soon I will sit down with them and devote proper attention to writing. I look forward to the empty space in my life.
Today, I went on a late evening walk with my mother. I watched her filming the orange sun setting over the lake. Her love for life and beauty makes me feel tethered to life. I wish I share her enthusiasm about life. I wanted to be her. Today, as I stood still, feet in sand, waiting for her to come find me after she’s done enjoying the sunset, I realized I want to be me. Her golden retriever energy needs my black cat energy for balance.
Truth be told. I am scared. I am excited. I am ready to take responsibility for who I am. I am an artist and I am going to let myself be one. Send me your best wishes and your support. I will need them.
Next category to pair down: clothes. It will be easier than books. I plan to keep the comfy and machine washable ones. If I am lucky, I will find great friends who don’t mind sharing clothes when I am on the road. I am excited to be on the road.
I can start my count down now. I am leaving in two months.
