Hi from the other side of the world!
How’s your week going so far? Anything good or beautiful?
I landed in Beijing yesterday after 28 hours of travel. My dad brought me a bouquet of roses for my arrival. I feel loved and welcomed. I am staying with my mom’s best friend. I’ve been fed feasts of yummy food. I am with people who love me. That’s the feeling of Home. It is a much needed experience after three years of Covid alone in America.
I still talk to myself in English. I wonder how much of that will slowly start to change. I’ve been at the periphery of normal day-to-day life here, the reverse cultural shock has not kicked in. What I notice is just people living life to their best ability with the resources afforded them.
Some things I noticed:
– The Customs are easy and fast in comparison to America.
– The streets are quiet – consider how much people are here, I am impressed.
– I see more smokers here.
– Some people will stare.
– Most dogs are not leashed.
– Bumble – an US dating app, still works in China. The world feels smaller thanks to the Internet.
– Electronic payment is prevalent here.
Per my friends’ request, I have been taking more food photos. It is difficult to remember that! Tree photos are easier. The plantation here smells different. I am enjoying the change. I am glad I didn’t let my fear take over my life. The hardest is often the first couple of steps. The old saying serves to be true and helpful. To expand my courage and my confidence, I can’t simply think my way through it. Sure. Thinking and planning has its value and place. But most of life’s valuable experience and lessons come from actions. I can’t know how good I can be unless I let myself try. Failing isn’t the issue. Not trying is. I am removing inner resistance to my best ability and focusing on more doing and more trying – that’s my growing edge.
It is easy to forget how far I’ve come when I am too focused on improving and learning. In honor of my past self, a few words of appraisal. A lot of good and bad has happened in the past decade. I am proud that I am still here writing. Life is okay. What makes me truly happy is to see my childlike curiosity and wonder alive and well. I’ve worked hard to preserve that part of myself. I will continue protecting that part of myself against Time and Age and Loss and Pain. I am grateful that numerous people keep choosing kindness and love in their day-to-day life. They give me Hope to keep going.
I will remember that my job and my success is to stay alive and not let my mental illness define who I am. I am so much more and I have so much goodness to offer. I can do hard things. So can you.
I will talk to you soon my friends. Go look for something good and beautiful and share with someone else this week.
Love,
Xiaoyu
P.S. I have been doing loving-kindness meditation more. I recommend.Try google loving-kindness meditation Tara Brach. I can’t use Google in China!
