Hi you,
I am writing to you at my friend Dany’s dinning table. My back is facing the window of a peaceful suburban street. My dark blue hair claw is laying on the table next to my phone. I had most of my peppermint tea. Now, I am writing to you. How’s the start of your August?
I have officially moved out of my apartment. I leave America in 4 days. Things I need to do: sell my car and finish packing.Things I want to do: spend time with my friends.
I cut my finger this morning. I couldn’t recall where and what I was doing. I notice the cut when I pause to organize my thoughts. Too many rushing thoughts. I am combing through for our shared benefit.
The friend I am staying with has two kiddos. They are interesting small humans. I walked one of them to school this morning. She sang Jingle Bell repeatedly half of the time. We held hands crossing the streets. We kissed goodbye. Watching her ran away left me a strange sense of emptiness. I want to run after her.
The chief thought I am looking at this week is identities. How do I want to define myself? What label makes sense? Is there a spacious and complex and vibrant enough label to contain the ever changing force that’s around me and within me?
So far, this is the best way I can answer the question:
Hi, my name is Xiaoyu. I am an artist. I feel. I learn. I create. I play. I write. I paint. I sing. I change. I relearn. I recreate. I die and die again. I am born and born again.
Hi, my name is Xiaoyu. I am a human, a small magical part of the vast mystery.
Hi, I am an artist. I aspire to be a better artist. “Better” means to be more of myself and create from that space with less and less inner obstruction.
Since I am an artist, I create art. What is art? Is art performative? How about the process of creating art?
For me, art is self expression at its purest sense. And art is performative and subjective. Art needs an audience and a stage. Art is an exchange of energy. Art connects. The process of creating art is slightly different. It is more messy and vulnerable and mysterious and tedious and frustrating and unexpected. I don’t have a simple way to describe the process. It may have performative elements during a certain stage. It will eventually get to the Stage – ready for its exchange with someone.
I need to make more art. That’s all I know. I’d better get to work.
How about you? What label(s) do you care for yourself and why? And what do you think is art? Think about it – for yourself.
Wish you a bountiful August!
Talk soon from a different continent,
Xiaoyu
