Hi friends,
Is there anything you want to do for yourself on the last week of July? I am getting my nails done with my friend tomorrow. I rarely do my nails because I am your lazy gal and I am cheap and impatient. And I want to give myself a girly goodbye gift since I will be leaving the city I’ve stayed for a decade. It would be a great way to slow down and spend quality time with my friend amidst the moving craze.
I am in the last stages of packing up and selling my stuff. This move helped me realize accumulation in certain area over the years is important to me. I have a box where I keep letters and postcards from my friends over the years. I started with a small box and now it is quite large. It is my “Love Box”. I enjoy seeing the Love Box grow bigger. It means I am not entirely wasting my time here.
My Love Box is like a collection of photo albums that capture where and how my friends were at the single point of time and what was going on inside of them.The letters and my friends in that moment are irreplaceable and never exist again in the same way. That is precious to me. And one of the many reasons why I still love writing letters – pen and paper style.
It’s interesting to observe how important friendship is to me. I intentionally spend a big chunk of my time and energy on friendships that mean a lot to me. I nurture them. And in turn, I get the best reward in the world, in my opinion, to love and to be loved. Very corny and cheesy and true.
It is also interesting to observe how my inner critic has quiet down over the years through my commitment to build a better relationship with myself. Some people call it the inner work. Some people call it spirituality. Some people call it self improvement. Some people call it self love. The label doesn’t matter. The relationship you have with yourself matter a great deal.
My relationship with myself directly influence my relationship with others. If you enjoy social science, you will know that when one member of the group changes, the group starts to change. There is no such thing as one way liberation. I aspire to bring positive changes to people I interact with – to the very least, I will bring them some kindness – my super power.
I would not share what I am writing today with you in the past because I don’t consider it “writing”. It is not literary enough. It is not good. Nobody wants it. I hide myself and my needs to express myself – but I have so much to express! Through improving my relationship with myself and my friends’ unwavering support and encouragement, I am able to write to you as if I am writing a letter to my friends.
It is the best of feelings to be able to be who I am and sharing that with you. For a long time, I denied myself who I am. That was a difficult way to live – I was constantly swimming upstream and beating myself up for it – I was miserable. And who I am is so wonderful, loving, playful, kind and creative. I hope you give yourself a chance to be who you truly are. Start small. Maybe give yourself something (small or large) that you’ve always wanted on this last week of July 2023!
Talk soon.
Sending you bright summer love,
Xiaoyu
