Hi there,
What’s on your mind?
I took a couple days off and attempted to find a sense of control/peace of my emotional state. And guess what? My emotional state is unequivocally unchanged. But I did receive enough fresh air, quiet sunrises and uninterrupted naps.
I find it difficult to surrender. I also find it necessary to surrender, because I want to be on the side of life. I have never successfully forced myself out of any emotional state. I am learning, forgetting my learnings and remembering it over and over again.
Friendships are on my mind for this whole week. When entering a friendship, it is asking us to deal with a specific set of craziness and problems. For example, if you were to be my friend, you need to know that for any social gatherings, I am and will forever be 5 minutes late. And my moodiness may make it difficult or exciting to cohabitate with (depending on what you value). A big one – I change my mind often and am always learning something new. I love that about myself. But it could be hell for someone else.
What makes you difficult to be in a relationship with? Be honest. We are all quite difficult. Knowing our own craziness gives us a chance to tell the other, “Here, this is my bag of craziness, along with other good stuff about me, do you have the willingness to work with this?”. If someone tells you that they are easy to live with, run the other direction. The lack of self awareness and understanding of their nature will make them extremely difficult to be in a relationship with.
This constant dance of “me” and “us” makes us human. We need connection, protection and freedom. So, I am guessing, being good at relationships requires us to know where we are, where the other is, and be able to surrender to the moment of connection to listen, and take the risk to be vulnerable, and do this on a daily basis. Easy huh?
I am grateful for my friends, old and new. They help me to know myself better and feel a sense of acceptance and appreciation. I want good for all of us.
I send you love. Hope you say one kind thing to a friend or yourself this upcoming week.
à bientôt,
Xiao-Yu
